Prepare for your return to school with Séverine Feiss! - for children, parents and kindergarten teachers

Séverine Feiss worked as a kindergarten teacher from 1999 to 2020. She is now a parenting coach and has her own podcast Les Petits Plus Zen . Today, we are lucky that she gives us very concrete advice to have the best possible start to the school year, whether you are a child, a parent or a school teacher. We advise you to take notes because she even answers the famous question that every parent has asked themselves: should you sneak away on the first day of school?

What main advice do you give to parents of nursery school pupils (ages 3 to 6) for a successful return to school?

If it's a start in a school that the child has never seen, I would advise walking around the school and explaining how it will happen. If the child was able to visit the school during the registration meeting, that's even better. That he was able to identify the premises, how the classroom and dormitory are set up... He may have spotted 2-3 games that interest him. So he will be able to plan for the start of the school year. But that hasn't always been possible with covid this year.

And then, we're going to talk to him about everything that's going to happen socially. There will be a lot of children with him. He won't be able to use all the games whenever he wants. There will be friends, and also children who are going to discover him, who are not always going to agree with him. The notion of socialization is important to explain to 3-year-olds.

On this notion of the group, I also include the idea of ​​expressing as much as possible what the child feels. Is the child happy to go to school or on the contrary is he afraid to go? Is the child sad to no longer stay at home with mom? Is he sad to leave his nursery friends?

During the entire period that remains before the start of the school year, we must talk to express the child's emotions and do the same with the parents. On the first day of school, for some parents, it brings up their own emotions. Let each parent ask themselves, if they are the one taking the child that day, in order to be clear about what they are going to relive. Each return to school with a child reopens a small door of a tunnel in us. So we must also take into account the emotions that the parents will go through on this first day of school.

Every year, I have moms or dads with a little tear ready to flow and who hesitate to leave. I take this opportunity to remind parents: say goodbye to the child before leaving the class. We do not leave quietly! Because it is very complicated for some children who turn around and discover that their parent has left. They must know that you are leaving and that you will come back in the evening, so that there is no feeling of abandonment, doubt, or insecurity.

What do parents generally have difficulty anticipating regarding the start of the school year?

For the parent, it seems very clear: in the morning we will go to school, we will say "goodbye", the child will spend his day at school. In the evening he will come back and things will resume as usual. But for children, it is the equivalent of discovering a new continent. That is to say, everything is new: the way to go to school, the smell in the school, the people, the way the teacher speaks. He may not be used to being spoken to like this, with this type of syntax, this vocabulary. He will not be used to the rhythm that we will impose on him. For example, if he wanted to continue doing his stickers, he might be told "that now, it is time for sports or recess". The parent sometimes has difficulty explaining this frustration to his child. Because when the child was on vacation, he could instead do whatever activities he wanted, for as long as he wanted.

As for the child, new things have an exciting side... but I think we can warn parents that at the end of the first morning or the first day, there will have been so many new things, so many things to discover, unknown, insecure in some way, that in the evening we really have to keep a moment where there is nothing new, to be in a real routine (perhaps with his favorite dish, or a big hug, his favorite book). Nothing new in the evening so that he can find a usual cocoon.

What do you think about getting back into family habits before the start of the school year?

Getting back into sleep habits seems essential. Because there is this excitement that we were talking about just before. The child will be awake very early on the first day of school, because everyone is talking to him about it. It is super exciting. Will he have had his share of hours of sleep, the last 3 days before the start of school, to keep his energy high enough for all these discoveries and the fatigue of the day? Also, maybe 4 days before the start of school, try as much as possible to put the child to bed before 8 p.m.

In terms of food, on the first day, I really recommend having a good breakfast before going to school. For some children, it is difficult in class to participate in the snack, it is too new. They do not want to touch what is at school. However, for some, it will go perfectly. But in any case, the child must have food reserves to last the whole morning. And even in the canteen, as it is very new, sometimes some children do not dare to touch the food.

In terms of the rhythm itself, a little bit of autonomy the week before the start of school can help the child understand that we, as parents, are also changing. This means that now he will pick up his bag by himself. He will put on his shoes by himself. We will do fewer things for him. We will leave him more and more responsible for certain small choices or actions.

So the change starts on August 24-25. If the parents are motivated, we can introduce a little something new every day. "Oh, you can do that by yourself. You can put your dirty things in the laundry basket by yourself." Put him in charge of small tasks, make him responsible. Depending on how the family works, these could be things he started doing when he was 2 years old. We can start with practical life. This is really the Montessori system. Don't take activities outside his personal life. Really take what you have at home. This could be: hanging out the laundry with the parents, taking the trash outside because the truck is coming, putting out the spoons when you set the table... Practical things. To show him that, in everyday life, what adults do has meaning, coherence and that now that he's grown up, he'll be able to do grown-up things.

If you feel overwhelmed as a parent with the start of the school year, how do you advise approaching this period?

The parent will be able to let go of everything that is not urgent. There are things that are urgent, like filling out the back-to-school forms. As soon as you have them, you put them aside to take care of them before the evening movie. Do things as you go, to avoid overwhelm. And if things are really going badly, we go running with the kids, we go to the park, we laugh or we put on music and we dance. We organize a little quality time, which I talk about in the episodes of my podcast, to bring down everyone's emotions and stress because of course it is contagious.

If the parent feels that the first week is really very restrictive, very stressful. The child will say to himself "that seems difficult. I might worry too because my parents are not well." So, if we do not want to communicate our stress in a contagious way, our frustration of not having everything under control, we can already go ahead and take the passport photos, prepare the backpack, the box of tissues... Sometimes, there is a list provided by the school. We can take care of it before August 30. So that on the first day of school, we will have done the maximum and we empty "the water from the vase as we go along", so that the vase does not overflow. Anticipate, organize and if the first 2 days are really difficult. Too bad, on those days there will be no laundry done or dishes or cleaning. We won't go to our aunt or grandma's on Sundays... We plan a rest time to recover and we give up certain habits that would make us more tired.

As a school teacher, with your experience, what advice would you give to those who are starting out?

For teachers, if they already have their class level, their list and a bit of the layout of the class… (which is not the case for everyone, because there are assignments that arrive very late) you can already visualize your first day back at school.

Are you going to open all the spaces in your classroom? Will there be play dough, beads, etc. available on the first day? I recommend really planning ahead by saying: "Once all the students have entered the classroom, will I have given them a badge, a label? How will I remember all the first names? Do I prepare a group activity first or do I let them wander around?" Close your eyes and say to yourself: "How do I imagine my first day? What will I need for it to go like this?" You will always have unexpected events. It might rain that day and recess will be cancelled or the gym will be closed.

So anticipating also applies to teachers. We set aside a small activity if it's really a mess, a return to calm, a story, a nursery rhyme. We have plans A, B and C. This is valid for the rest of the year but it is particularly for this first day.

If they are teachers who are starting out in kindergarten, I advise them to be fairly flexible about the academic expectations on the first day. We will rather reassure the students. We will tell them "yes, this is new. Yes, you don't know each other, you don't know me. I have been a teacher for so many years." Maybe you have had older brothers and sisters... Talk about yourself as a teacher, as a human being. These little children are going to spend the year with you. They need to create a bond of trust, a connection. This is quality time that must be created with them. We talk about their identity. "You, that's it, you're 3 years old! And you, you chose to wear a nice outfit today. And you, you run very fast!" In fact, we value them, we create the group. We are not at all in the academic, in reading, colors, shapes. All that will come later. We let the children observe, find their bearings, discover the material. There are children who will stay by their coat racks for part of the morning because they don't feel like socializing. And it will be up to us to say to them: "Come on, look, there's a fire truck over there. Do you want to come play with me or would you rather color?"

It will be a question of inviting them to slowly move from the status of child to the status of student. It will take 2 or 3 weeks for some. Others, who have older brothers and sisters, are already experienced. They will be all in, they will take out all the boxes. Now, are you ready in your visualization to say "they have the right to take everything out or not". Make choice trees and ask yourself if at the start of the school year "Do I make everything available or do I compartmentalize? Do I do a group time or a reading first? Do I take out the balls for sports or something easy to put away? It's up to you, do it according to your personality. The start of the school year is a time when we talk to children calmly. We put the rules in place, the limits, the instructions, the information.

And I also advise all teachers who are starting out in kindergarten to create a bond with the parents, to explain to them: "You know, even if he's a little sad, we're going to explain everything to him. He'll tell you about it this evening." Also reassure the parents. There are parents who are more worried than their children.

What mistakes have you corrected as a teacher over the years to have a better start to the school year?

With the little ones - children who are between 2 and 4 years old and who are starting school for the first time - I spend a lot more time individually. When I started, I took the whole class, considering the group. Now, I take individual time with each child. This means that I welcome each family one by one. I take a photo of the child with his parents. This photo will be developed and displayed in the classroom the next day. Like a comfort blanket, like a transitional object.

I get down to the child's level, I say hello and as well as my first name, I give him a small silicone bracelet and I tell him "you are now part of the school, of our class. We are the green class or whatever. You are part of the group. Welcome." Like an induction, where he feels part of a new belonging, of a new community. Thus, he symbolically passes from the family, where he was almost all the time, to the status of schoolboy.

Avoid being taken over by certain children who want us to validate all their actions, who say "look, look, look". And then, there are also the shy little ones who you have to go see in the middle of the class, saying "do you want to do an activity? If you need help, you can come see me." Respect their need to isolate themselves but go see them all regularly, one by one.

I advise teachers who are afraid of not memorizing all the first names in the class to allow themselves to put a sticker on their clothes, at least for the first hour. Sometimes, children do not respond to their first name. You call a name and no one answers. And we do not always have a class photo album when we start kindergarten.

As we advance in our careers, we also observe children much more to adapt to individualized paths.

Are you creating tools for the start of the school year?

Yes, almost all of us create observation grids, scoring grids. Depending on our personality and our project, it can be different, such as: "did the child come to ask for help? Does the child know how to put on his shoes by himself?" We can check off whatever we want, it will allow us to have an initial point of reference. We sometimes say "a diagnostic assessment". To know where the children are starting from in September. And like that, we can say at Christmas when we have the parents: "Remember in September, he was at this stage. Now, he knows how to do all that."

I also have more didactic tools like hanging nursery rhymes on the wall from the beginning because there is a good chance that children know some nursery rhymes. There is the word of the nursery rhyme, the title, the lyrics and an illustration. It creates an exchange between the children.

Another tool that I really like is to offer parents who can bring a small soft photo album with a dozen photos. When you have photos of the parents, the little sister, the bedroom, the holidays, the dog, grandma, etc., it's a great language support. We also call it an "echo album." It allows you to see the progression of language between September and June. At the beginning of the year, the child will open the album and point to his sister by saying "Éna" because his sister's name is Léna. Then in December, he will say "Léna and (his own first name)." And at the end of the year, he will say "Ah, I was on the merry-go-round!" We see the vocabulary evolve in a few months and it's fabulous.

If you are a parent or a school teacher, go check out the podcast Les Petits Plus Zen , created by Séverine Feiss and dedicated to parenting. You already have 10 episodes available for season 1. The second season resumes on August 25, 2021.

And discover our games and accessories for 3-6 year olds, on our site. We have a section dedicated to this age group, right here .

They allow you to learn new vocabulary words, to discover maths and English while having fun, or to discuss gender equality, diversity or disability.